One - [Voice]

[most-epic-troll.livejournal.com]

[And suddenly, there's a slow, deep, gravelly voice.]

Er... dis is Sergeant Detritus of der Ankh-Morpork City Watch. I hear dat rank does not mean much in Confoo- Confoodoh- dis place, an' since I am an Agent-wif-a-capital-A, just call me Detritus. I am livin' in room four-oh-five, an'...

[Detritus trails off. There's the sound of something big and heavy shuffling around. When he speaks up again, it's slightly muffled.]

'Scuse me, where's the imp in dis fing?

[The answering voice- probably a clerk or some such- is barely audible and sounds much like the grown-ups from Peanuts.]

There's no imp? How can people on the uvver end of dis fing hear what I am sayin' if there's no imp carryin' the message?

[Mwah, MWAH mwah mwah?, says the clerk.]

...

[Mwah?]

So you are sayin' dat I am havin' to put the imp into dis Gooseberry myself?

[... mwaaaaagh!]