Planeocracy

((I am very sorry, but I just remembered forgetting to do something that I meant to do weeks and weeks ago.  This part is backdated to approximately Two Weeks Ago.  If you are Roy Mustang or Squall, feel free to converse with her about the mission.  If you are Kusuha, feel free to talk to her in her room.  If you are anyone else, feel free to catch her in the hall and notice that she looks decidedly unwell.  Please indicate that you are responding to this part by putting TWA in the title of your tag))

[Roy, Squall, and Lachesis arrive back from the Unnamed World of Full Metal Alchemy, all of them looking a bit the worst for strain.  The moment they reappear back at CO, Lachesis frostily nods at the other two men before stalking away, her back held high and her steps steady.  This composure lasts until she reaches her room, whereupon she closes the door behind her, walks to her bed, and slowly sits down, placing her face between her hands.  Tears begin to fall down her face.

She doesn't even care to see if Kusuha is in the room or not.]

 . . . . . . . . . This wasn't right.  This wasn't right at all.

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((A-And because I am stupid and horrible, please have another post which is in the Present Day.  I'm really sorry about this huge mess.  Please indicate that you are responding to this part with Present in the title of your tag.))

This organization is sincerely trying my nerves.  No doubt they'll find a way to completely misinterpret my meaning, but I will do my best to ensure absolutely no loopholes.

I am planing to propose a bill to dissolve the partnership that Confuto Ordinatio currently has with Nutrisludge.  The food is inedible.  Plain and simple as that.  We shouldn't have to suffer simply because they wish to save a few platinum.  After some research, I've found that other competitors which would no doubt serve food of a marginally more acceptable quality charge only approximately 50 platinum more a year.  This amount is nearly negligible.  Thus, I plan to offer a bribe of up to 50 platinum; you could see how this could become fairly expensive, however, depending on the number of Councilors that vote.

I'll therefore be needing all the signatures and support I can get.  So far, I have the support of Ran Yakumo (Enforcer), Lockon Stratos, and Raidou Kuzunoha, as well as myself.  For your perusal, the bill will state the following.  Recommendations for changes will be taken.

( Bill to Propose )

[video]
I feel terribly accomplished.  As of today, I, Lachesis of Nodion, am an officially registered State Alchemist of the State Military of Amestris.  Perhaps it's not quite as impressive as my other titles, but it's the only one I earned for myself, which makes it all the more satisfying.  Although . . . I really haven't a clue what the job entails.  Whose world is it?  Can anyone tell me? But at any rate, I've run the full gamut of decidedly awful jobs here.  This one can't possibly be as disgraceful as cleaning diarrhea, as embarrassing as cosplaying, as exhausting as robot-painting, or as humiliating as flouncing about nude.

I am fully confident in saying that I can now face anything without a single ounce of trepidation.

Absolutely.  Anything.

In other business, I picked this up at the market the other day. 

[The camera zooms down to . . . Nope, actually, the camera smashes full into some sort of unidentified ovoid object and gives an absolutely grainy picture of nothing whatsoever for the next five minutes.  Lachesis does not appear to have gotten the hang of this 'technology' thing yet.  As the voice sensor is also smashed up against the egg, her voice comes out a bit garbled and unclear.]

Does anyone know anything about it?  It was labeled a 'Digi-egg' . . .  I thought it would make for a nice bit of decoration for the room, but . . . it actually does appear to be a real egg.  Will it hatch, I wonder?  And what will emerge?  It's certainly the largest egg I've ever seen in my life, anyway.  Oh!  Perhaps I'll have my very own wyvern or pegasus.  Preferably the latter . . . That would be wonderful . . . . . . . . . . . ahh . . . . .

[Splat.  Push push push . . . splorch.  Shove shove . . . Jiggle jiggle.  Eurgh. 

What in Jugdral was this foul concoction and why did it wiggle on her plate?  Food was not supposed to wiggle unless it was crawling with maggots, in which case few people would be keen upon identifying the substance as 'food'.  Either way, she eyed the lemon jello with a great deal of suspicion before moving on to the rest of the assorted items she'd reluctantly taken.  In the bottom-left corner oozed a foreign brown pile of mush she had been assured was 'hamburger casserole in meat sauce' and not 'porcine waste product in pig-slop' as she had first assumed.  A few bits of green poking out from a sea of white sauce covered the majority of the rest of her plate.  Pasta alfredo, spotted with what she could only assume was a sort of herb.  Or mold.  It certainly had the right consistency for mold, anyway.  And in the far corner, exactly three slices of carrot -- accompanied by even more white sauce with more green flecks floating about in it.  This one, however, was completely liquid.  Good.  She had heard that bacteria was much more fond of growing on liquid substances than solid; she certainly didn't want to impede their progress.  After a few more moments of pushing her food around, Lachesis abruptly stood up to access her 'peedeeay'.]

[Vocal]
If I am forced to eat one more meal in this place, I shall have myself subjected to the amnesia ray immediately that I may live the rest of my life without laying eyes upon this 'hamburger casserole' or whatever fancy name they've labeled this slop again.  My servants wouldn't eat this poorly.  I'm quite fed up.  And to make matters worse, it's not even healthy; there appears a vast phobia in this place of anything remotely resembling a fruit or a vegetable.

I'll wager few of you have ever been treated to a fine banquet before.  The traditional celebration to herald mid-winter approaches in Jugdral.  It isn't a major holiday, by any means, but Nodion has always celebrated modestly with a good meal for all, regardless of whatever economic circumstances we may currently be under.  Should any of you are interested, you are all cordially invited to Nodion Castle, accessible quickly and easily through Gate FE4-1.  Though I had not planned to return home for the event, I've changed my mind.  You will all be my personal guests and treated with the finest service.  I shall inform the servants tonight and we shall dine on the morrow.

This is Agent Lachesis of Room 102.  Um.  That is all.

[the following is muted and unclear]
Well!  That felt terribly odd.  Talking into something like this and expecting it to be broadcast -- But I'm sure I've heard other messages before.  And I remember watching that man quite carefully; he just pressed this button on the side and began to speak.  That's all, isn't it?  I wonder if it went through?  . . . I suppose I'll suppose I'll know if anyone agrees to come.  Or perhaps I won't.  I can't say I've forged many friendships here at all.  But at the least . . . Sir Lyle and Lady Kusuha ought to respond.

 . . .

Why am I talking to myself?  . . .

More importantly, why are you still blinking?  Do stop that.  [bonk bonk bang]  No.  You're still doing it.  [boink]  And now I'm conversing with the peedeeay; I really have gone m